I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
