She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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