i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
