Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I love you. Go after that dick
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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