still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
