I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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