Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize