Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
