Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize