Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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