I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
