Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
How does one acquire holy water?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I pour the whiskey from now on
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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