shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
