her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize