He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
