so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
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