I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
