Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
