lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
