i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Randomize
