what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
