I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize