terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
