How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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