She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
