You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize