Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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