he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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