why didn't you poke me back
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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