glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i think my mom watched the whole time
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
