I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
