we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
