he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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