i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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