she was so not down for the gang bang
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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