what day is it and did you see me today?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
