New invention idea: vibrating tampons
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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