Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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