He is like the real live version of the state fair..
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Terrible idea I love it
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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