Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize