SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
