I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
