check it out our google latitudes are spooning
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I want her autograph on my taint
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
