If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
