She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
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Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
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I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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