She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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