are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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