Moan for me like Helen Keller
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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