He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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