Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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