I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
