If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Randomize
