I cockslap morals
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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