There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
