We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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