I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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