You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize