Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
