Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
