Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
where does the pee come out of this thing
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
