I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
