that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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