Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
