everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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