There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
