there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
